Lesson 13 Cross-gender Communication(I)

Warm-up Cases Sex and Gender

Feminine and Masculine Communication Cultures

To get a general understanding of cultural differences resulted from the differences of Gender consciousness.

Expressions related to two genders

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

There’re three types of human beings: men, women and women doctors.

Man and woman are like two hedgehogs in winter: too close, get hurt; too far away, get lonely and cold.

Is it possible to get a confidante or confidant in reality? “别瞎说，我们只是好朋友而已。”听到这种台词，相必一大帮人会带着一副原来如此的表情在心里说“且……”。

我只听过一句话“不要让你的女朋友有蓝颜知己，因为蓝着蓝着你就绿了，不要让你的男朋友有红颜知己，因为红着红着你俩就黄了”我觉得很对。

在幼儿园里存在，还有就是耄耋之年有，这中间的年龄段绝对是挑战。

1. Lead-in

Case I’ve not considered marriage yet.

How could you explain to Li Hua’s parents about the relationship between Li Hua and John? How could you explain to John Li Hua’s parents’ behavior?

Comment

The case shows man and woman’s different attitudes toward their relationship, and the parents’ attitudes regarding children’s love and marriage in Chinese culture. misunderstanding conflict To John 6 months not lead to marriage

To Li Hua time to bring John to meet parents

To Li Hua’s parents treat John as a future son-in-law background marriage plans

Sex and Gender

Please think and answer the following questions. 1. What is sex? And what is gender?

2. What is the difference between sex and gender? sex biological permanent individual property gender socially constructed varied over time and across cultures social and relational quality Sex is determined by genetic codes that program biological features. Gender is more complex than sex. masculine and feminine

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Sex is determined by genetics and biology, while gender is produced by society.

3.What are the basic rules of boy’s or girls interaction?

4.What are the differences between feminine and masculine communication culture?

Girls’ Games(unstructured, cooperative) Be cooperative, collaborative, and inclusive Don’t criticize or outdo others.

Pay attention to other’s feelings and needs

Boy’s games(more structured, large, individualized) Assert yourself. Focus on outdoors. Be competitive.

Summary

Girls’ games occur within a gender culture that emphasizes cooperation, sensitivity toward others, and experience more than outcome.

Boys’ games emphasize achievement, both for the team and for the individual members.

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Lesson 14 Cross-gender Communication(II)

Understanding Cross-gender Communication

Six Principles for Effective Cross-gender Communication To overcome the obstacles in intercultural communication.

Case study

Case Can we talk about us? Comment

This shows a common type of clash in cross-gender communication.

For women, their relationship is a popular topic, while for men, it is not a focus. Men use talk to solve problems rather than to enhance their relationship.

Women think if they are talking with each other, then everything is going smoothly.

For Ben, Anna’s suggestion to talk about their relationship is pointless. For Anna, Ben’s reluctance and lack of interest in talking simply hurt her feelings.

Case Feeling left-out Comment

In public, the norms of expressing one’s feelings and affections toward the opposite sex varies across culture. In Asia and some countries around the Mediterranean Sea, it is acceptable to have body contact between the same sex in public, but not between the opposite sexes, especially in front of the friends. Chen left because he felt awkward witnessing them hugging and kissing. This shows that Dick knows nothing about the natural response of the Chinese to certain behaviors. Similarly, Chen Liang’s behavior shows that he is also in the dark about American behaviors.

Four Examples

What counts as support? Tricky feedback Expressing care

I’d rather do it myself.

Differences between Feminine and Masculine Communication Culture

Feminine Talk 1.Use talk to build and sustain rapport with others.

2. Share yourself and learn about others through disclosing 3. Use talk to create symmetry or equality between people

4. Matching experiences with others shows understanding and empathy 5. To support others, express understanding of their feelings.

6. Include others in conversation by asking their opinions and encouraging them to elaborate.

7. Keep the conversation going by asking questions and showing interest in

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others’ ideas.

8. Be responsive. Let others know you hear and care about what they say. 9. Be tentative so that others feel free to add their ideas.

10. Talking is a human relationship in which details and interesting side comments enhance depth of connection

Masculine Talk 1. Use talk to assert yourself and your ideas. 2. Personal disclosures can make you vulnerable 3. Use talk to establish your status and power

4. Matching experiences is a competitive strategy to command attention. 5. To support others, do something helpful

6.Don’t share the talk stage with others, wrest it from them with communication. Interrupt others to make your own points.

7. Each person is on her or his own; it’s not your job to help others join in. 8. Use responses to make your own points and to outshine others. 9. Be assertive so others perceive you as confident and in command.

10. Talking is a linear sequence that should convey information and accomplish goals.

Six Principles

Suspend judgement.

Recognize the validity of different communication styles Provide translation cues. Seek translation cues.

Enlarge your own communication style Suspend judgement

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