我只希望朱莉?贝克能离我远点All I ever wanted was for Juli Baker to leave me alone. 故事始于一年级暑假 年的夏天It all began in the summer of , before the start of second grade. 我们到家啦Here we are. 你们觉得这里怎么样?

我挺喜欢的What do you guys think? I like this place.

很赞呢 我的房间是什么颜色? It's cool.

Uh, what color is my room? 别急嘛Just you wait.

咱们进去瞧瞧 嘿 布莱斯Let's see what's inside. Hey, come on, buddy Bryce.

过来给我搭把手搬东西Why don't, uh, you and I go help unload the van让姑娘们去整理厨房吧and the womenfolk here can get in the kitchen and start setting up. 好的 老爸Okay, Dad.

于我而言 这意味着我从此步入了For me, it was the beginning of what would be长达五年的不安与逃避生涯more than half a decade of strategic avoidance and social discomfort.

嗨 我是朱莉?贝克 喂喂喂 你干嘛呢? Hi, I'm Juli Baker.

Hey, hey, what are you doing? 要我帮忙吗?

Don't you want some help?

不必了 那里面都是贵重物品No.

There's some valuable things in there.

那我就搬这个吧 不用了How about this one? No, no, no.

赶紧回家吧 你妈妈没准在找你呢Run home.

Your mother's probably wondering where you are.

没关系 我妈妈知道我在哪 她同意我过来Oh, no, my mom knows where I am. She said it's fine.

显然这姑娘也太不识趣了It didn't take long to realize this girl could not take a hint. 咱们仨在这儿有点挤吧 不要紧啊It's crowded in here with three people. I don't mind.

毫无自知之明 我们一起推吧? Of any kind.

You wanna push this one together? 布莱斯 你妈妈还等着你去帮忙吧?

Bryce, isn't it time for you to go help your mother? 是啊是啊Oh, yeah.

我真是拿她没辙I mean, nothing would stop her.

我终于忍无可忍 这时候诡异的事情却发生了I was about to tell her to get lost when the weirdest thing happened.

我真是难以置信I couldn't believe it.

我居然会牵着陌生女孩的手There I was holding hands with this strange girl. 我咋就惹上了这种麻烦?

你好呀How did I get into this mess? Well, hello.

看来你已经认识我儿子了I see you've met my son我不得不使出岁男生仅有的气概Finally, I did the only manly thing available when you're years old.

然而 还有一大串的麻烦等着我However, my troubles were far from over.

就在我走进叶尔森老师的教室时The minute I walked into Miss Yelson's classroom布莱斯? 你也在这啊Bryce? You're here.

很显然it was clear:即使在学校 也无法逃脱她的魔掌School would not be a sanctuary. 嘿 布莱斯 你女朋友呢?

Hey, Bryce, where's your girlfriend? 枉我一世英名啊I was branded for life.

嘿 布莱斯 你咋不向她求婚呢?

Hey, Bryce, why don't you ask her to marry you?

布莱斯和朱莉爬上树梢Bryce and Juli sitting in a tree卿卿我我甜如蜜K-l-S-S-l-N-G搬来镇上的第一年简直就是场灾难My first year in town was a disaster. 瞧那小两口呀Look at them.

接下来的三年也不尽如人意And the next three weren't much better.

就这么捱到了六年级 我总算不再坐以待毙But finally, in the sixth grade, I took action. 想到了一个大狠招I hatched the plan. 雪利Sherry.

雪利 等一下Sherry, wait up.

嗨 布莱斯Hi, Bryce. Heh.

我向雪利?斯道尔斯展开攻势I asked out Sherry Stalls.

我想问你愿不愿意. . .

I was wondering if you wanted to go这个招数的绝妙之处在于To full appreciate the brilliance of this plan雪利?斯道尔斯是朱莉的眼中钉you have to understand that Juli hated Sherry Stalls但我始终想不通其中的缘由though I never understood why.

雪利长发飘飘 为人和善Sherry was nice, friendly and she had a lot of hair.

我妈之前一直不让我打耳洞 后来我拼命求她At first, my mother wouldn't let me get my ears pierced, but I begged我原本一心指望 只要和雪利吃吃饭The idea was that Sherry would eat with me散散步 就能让朱莉知难而退maybe we'd walk around together, and hopefully Juli would lose interest. 她还是不允许我岁前打耳洞But I still can't get the hoops till I'm . 太可惜了Oh, that's a shame.

米娜妮也想打耳洞So Melanie wanted to get her ears pierced,但她老妈也不是省油的灯but of course her mother said no.

她就在家大发雷霆 So she threw a fit 把约翰尼?马蒂斯的精选辑给砸了and smashed her Johnny Mathis Greatest Hits album结果就被禁足了and she got grounded,连我的睡衣派对都来不了so now she can't come to my pajama sleepover party.

事情进展相当顺利Things were unfolding quite nicely.

你的科学实验打算怎么做?

What are you doing for your science project?

直到我所谓的挚友加利特?埃恩德That is, until my supposed best friend, Garrett Einbinder开始打起了雪利的主意took an interest in Sherry himself.

我想展示各种护发素I was thinking of showing how split ends react 如何修复头发分叉with different hair conditioners.

太棒了That's fascinating.

俗话说得好 重色必轻友 加利特这个叛徒Loyalty gave way to desire and Garrett, the turncoat向雪利全盘托出我的计划told Sherry what I was up to. 混蛋Jerk.

她自然很是生气She didn't take it well.

至于朱莉Word got back to Juli, 她自然又开始对我故技重施and pretty soon she started up with the goo-goo eyes again.

而且还变本加厉Only this time it was worse. 居然开始嗅我She started sniffing me.

你没听错 她居然用鼻子嗅我That's right, sniffing me.

搞什么飞机啊?

What was that all about?

我只能期望来年能摆脱魔掌My only consolation was that next year would be different. 但愿升入初中后Junior high, bigger school.

不用再和她同班 Maybe we'd be in different classes 彻底结束我的噩梦and it would finally, finally be over. 见到布莱斯?罗斯基的第一眼 我便怦然心动了The first day I met Bryce Loski, I flipped. 他的双眸让我如痴如醉It was those eyes, something in those dazzling eyes.

我们一起推吧?

You wanna push this one together?

那时候他们刚搬到我家隔壁His family had just moved into the neighborhood我过去帮他们搬东西and I'd gone over to help them.

我在车里刚呆了分钟 I'd been in the van all of two minutes 他老爸就让她去帮他妈妈when his dad sent him off to help his mom.

我知道他并不想离开I could see he didn't wanna go.

于是我追上前去 So I chased after him to see 问他能不能先玩一会再进屋if we could play a little before he got trapped inside.

接着他便用力握着我的手The next thing I know, he's holding my hand与我深情凝视and looking right into my eyes.

那一刹那 我的心停止了跳动My heart stopped.

这一刻到来了吗? Was this it?

是时候迎来我的初吻了吗? Would this be my first kiss?

没想到他妈妈却出来了 你好呀But then his mother came out. Well, hello.

他感到无比羞愧 脸都红了And he was so embarrassed, his cheeks turned completely red.

那晚我躺在床上 不停幻想初吻的场景I went to bed that night thinking of the kiss that might have been. 我知道他对我动心了 I mean, it was clear he had feelings for me, 只是怯于表达爱意but he was just too shy to show them.

妈妈说过男孩子都会这样My mother said boys were like that. 我决定帮他克服心中的恐惧 So I decided to help him out. 布莱斯?

你也在这啊Bryce? You're here.

我会竭尽所能帮他彻底释放自我I would give him plenty of opportunity to get over his shyness. 六年级那年 我学着有所收敛By the sixth grade, I'd learned to control myself. 没想到半路却杀出个雪利?斯道尔斯Then Sherry Stalls entered the picture.

雪利?斯道尔斯就是一人尽可夫的长舌妇Sherry Stalls was nothing but a whiny, gossipy, backstabbing flirt.

头发长见识短All hair and no substance.

而且她竟然. . .

And there she was和布莱斯十指紧扣 那可是我家布莱斯holding hands with Bryce.