When Chen Li and Wang Bing arrived they were impressed by the apartment and the decorations, and asked about the price of the furniture, paintings, the carpet and other things. Sarah politely refused to answer their questions. They took small tastes of the appetizers and ate only a little spaghetti and didn't finish the salad on their plates. Sarah urged them to eat more but they refused. Sarah and Daniel talked about their families and asked the Chinese couple about theirs. After a while, Daniel cleared the table and served coffee and pastries. The Chinese couple didn't drink nor eat too much.

After they left, Sarah and Daniel felt puzzled, because their Chinese guests didn't eat too much, while they themselves left Chen Li's home so full.

Question: How does Chinese understanding of the host-guest relationship influence Chen Li and Wang Bing's way of entertaining Sarah and Daniel? How does Sarah and Daniel's understanding of the host-guest relationship influence their way of treating Chen Li and Wang Bing? What advice could you give to both couples to help them further their friendship?

Answer:

1)In China, it is traditional that hosts entertain guests by offering many courses of dishes to show their hospitality, and the number of courses served usually has the connotation of good luck, e. g. the number \sounds like 发, which means getting rich. It is quite common, especially in cities, that the husband helps a lot in cooking and serving food. Hosts treat guests, especially distinguished guests, very politely, and guests' offer 0f help in the kitchen; is normally Politely refused Besides, TV programs often play an important role in providing entertainment at formal family dinner parties. These Chinese conventions help explain the way Chen Li and Wang Bing entertained Sarah and Daniel.

2)In the West, hosts' hospitality is not shown by the quality and quantity Of the food, but by offering their own specialty. They hope their guests Would like the food and enjoy their efforts. The hospitality is also shown by the hosts' accompanying the guests and having a conversation with them. So both the host and hostess would' accompany the guests to have dinner and have a warm talk t0gether. Guests Would not ask any private questions, such as the price of the furniture, etc. These Western 'conventions help explain the way Sarah and Daniel treated Chen Li and Wang Bing. Chen Li and Wang Bing followed the Chinese conversation

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habit, that' S Why they asked about the prices, and often Chinese guests want to show their cultivation and manners by eating limited amount of food, and this may explain Why Chen Li and Wang Bing ate only a little food.

3) It is advisable for both couples to learn the other culture through experience, chatting, observing and reading. On suitable occasions, e.g. at parties, friendly and interesting conVerSati6ns about 1/heir respective cultures, Such as ways of entertaining guests, normal conversation' 'topics and taboos etc, can be an effective way of understanding each other~ ' Through such interactions; their friendship will surely be enhanced

Ethical considerations

? Because communication is an activity that has a consequence, we must continually ask ourselves if we are behaving in a way that harms our communication partner.

Activities

? Bring to class news articles young have collected over a period of a week that directly or indirectly have to do with problems in inter-cultural communication. Then, in small groups, discuss what may have caused the problem. For example, diverse purposes or ethno-centrism, and how the situations might have been improved.

Discussion ideas

1. Find example in the media, especially television or movies, of subtle stereotyping. Explain how the stereotypes may have developed as a result of ethnocentrism.

2. Define your communication style to the best of your ability by answering these questions:

a) Do I give people my full attention b) Do I seem at ease or tense?

c) Do I often change the subject without taking the other person into consideration

e) Do I deprecate the statements of others? f) Do I smile often?

g) Do I interrupt repeatedly?

h) Do I show sympathy when someone has a problem?

i) Do my actions tend to lower the other person’s self-esteem

It may help you to record yourself in conversation with another person. Or, of you have the means, to videotape yourself.

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3. Give a specific example of an inter-cultural communication experience in which an individual and his or her culture might be harmed or changed.

教学时数： 2学时

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