顾家北 微信推送词伙 2014年6月

children normally require toreceive some gifts, such as dolls or Lego bricks. Money are meaningless forthem and they do not understand that parents must work to earn money, whichmeans that children should aware of the concept of money. 点评:

这个学生一些语法错误,譬如说require to receive gifts, money are,should aware of 已经注定拿不到6.5或者7分。 Staff也是比较明显的拼写错误

最后一句话,小孩不知道父母赚钱辛苦,因此就意识不到金钱的概念,没有太大逻辑,破坏了CC的分数 句子结构和扣题尚可。

因此,最后综合得分应该是6分。 我写的段落(8分)

Teaching children about money can help them understand how to make

well-informed buying decisions andavoid unnecessary expenses. The youth oftoday are exposed to many advertisements and encouraged to spend money on

advertisedproducts such as toys, snacks and electronic products. They are insensitive to prices and debt. Unless parents teach them the importance of balancing spendingand saving, these children may not be able to make ends meet in adulthood. 【6.22】

Mostparents believe that it is a good idea to teach children about money. Why is itimportant for children to learn about money? What's the best way for parents toteach their children about money?

Many children today live in aworld where they are encouraged to spend money on various items, and improvingtheir ability to managemoney is important. They shouldlearn how to deal with financialmatters in reallife.

【6.21】

题目:Economic progress is often used to measure a country's success. However, some peoplebelieve that other factors are more important. What other factors should also beconsidered when measuring a country's success? Do you think one factor is moreimportant than others?

The relative success of different countries is usually defined in economic terms.There are several other factors, apart from the economy, that could be used toassess a country, and in my opinion education is the most important of all.

学习点1:这个范文开头段第一句话还是简单的改写题目。Success本来做宾语,它在文章里变成了主语。 然后measure改成define

而economic progress 换了一种形式出现,in economic terms,这个基本上就是用词灵活的例子了。

学习点2:第二句话的前半句there are several factors….that ….对应题目的第一问,而后面的in my opinion,引出自己的立场

Standards of education, health and individual human rights should certainly be considered whenmeasuring a country’s status. A good education system is vitalfor the development of any nation, with schools, colleges and universities bearing the responsibility for

the quality of future generations of workers. Healthcare provision is also an indicator of the standard of living within a country, and this can be measured by looking at average life expectancyrates or availability ofmedical services. Finally, human rights and levels of equality could be taken into account. For example, a country in which women do not have the same opportunities as men might be considered less successful than a countrywith better genderequality.

学习点一:一个段落多观点,很多学生最纠结的莫过于连接词,firstly, secondly, finally 感觉也比较俗,换词吧,又怕不地道。

Simon的选择是第一个观点不用连接词,第二个用also,第三个用finally

学习点2:bear the responsibility 替换中国学生用烂的shoulder the responsibility

学习点3:medical services 和healthcare provision 的替换 学习点4:最后一句话使用了定语从句,两个比较句 一个是the same …as 一个是less… than

In my view, a country’s education system should be seen as the most important indicator of its success and level of development. This is because education has a considerable effect on the other two factors mentioned above. It affects people’s health in the sense that doctors and nurses need to be trained, and scientists need to be educated to the highest levels before they can carry out medical research. It also affects the economy in the sense that a well-educated workforce will allow a variety of companies and industries to flourish, leading to trade with other countries, and increased wealth.

学习点1:第一句话用的是我们上课的简单句型“be seen as”,其实好的文章不需要复杂的表达,正确和地道的表达更重要。

学习点2:In my view, this isbecause 都是简单的连接方法

学习点3:第三句话通过并列句doctors and nurses……scientists ….变成了复杂句

学习点4:flourish 替代develop

学习点5:lead to 是一个简单的词,但是很多同学用错,这个词后面加的是名词,trade,还有wealth

学习点6:a variety of 各种各样的,很多学生也经常用错这个词

In conclusion, nations can be assessed andcompared in a variety of ways, but I would argue thatthe standard of a country's education system is the best measure of its success.

学习点1:平衡式的结尾。用BUT去引出自己比较支持的看法。

学习点2:注意单词的替换,assess a country,the best measure of its success, seen as the most important indicator of its success, when measuring a country’s status.

不难看到,Simon 侧重的不是success,而是assess, measure,indicator 这种替换的表达。 这就是思维的差异。 【6.20】

题目:Economic progress is often used to measure a country's success. However, some peoplebelieve that other factors are more important. What other factors should also beconsidered when measuring a country's success? Do you think one factor is moreimportant than others?

The relative success of different countries is usually defined in economic terms.There are several other factors, apart from the economy, that could be used toassess a country, and in my opinion education is the most important of all.

学习点1:这个范文开头段第一句话还是简单的改写题目。Success本来做宾语,它在文章里变成了主语。 然后measure改成define

而economic progress 换了一种形式出现,in economic terms,这个基本上就是用词灵活的例子了。

学习点2:第二句话的前半句there are several factors….that ….对应题目的第一问,而后面的in my opinion,引出自己的立场

Standards of education, health and individual human rights should certainly be considered whenmeasuring a country’s status. A good education system is vitalfor the development of any nation, with schools, colleges and universities bearing the responsibility for

the quality of future generations of workers. Healthcare provision is also an indicator of the standard of living within a country, and this can be measured by looking at average life expectancyrates or availability ofmedical services. Finally, human rights and levels of equality could be taken into account. For example, a country in which women do not have the same opportunities as men might be considered less successful than a countrywith better genderequality.

学习点一:一个段落多观点,很多学生最纠结的莫过于连接词,firstly, secondly, finally 感觉也比较俗,换词吧,又怕不地道。

Simon的选择是第一个观点不用连接词,第二个用also,第三个用finally 学习点2:bear the responsibility 替换中国学生用烂的shoulder the responsibility

学习点3:medical services 和healthcare provision 的替换 学习点4:最后一句话使用了定语从句,两个比较句 一个是the same …as 一个是less… than

In my view, a country’s education system should be seen as the most important indicator of its success and level of development. This is because education has a considerable effect on the other two factors mentioned above. It affects people’s health in the sense that doctors and nurses need to be trained, and scientists need to be educated to the highest levels before they can carry out medical research. It also affects the economy in the sense that a well-educated workforce will allow a variety of companies and industries to flourish, leading to trade with other countries, and increased wealth.

学习点1:第一句话用的是我们上课的简单句型“be seen as”,其实好的文章不需要复杂的表达,正确和地道的表达更重要。

学习点2:In my view, this isbecause 都是简单的连接方法

学习点3:第三句话通过并列句doctors and nurses……scientists ….变成了复杂句

学习点4:flourish 替代develop

学习点5:lead to 是一个简单的词,但是很多同学用错,这个词后面加的是名词,trade,还有wealth

学习点6:a variety of 各种各样的,很多学生也经常用错这个词 【6.19】

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