海蒂： 我们知道你说过什么，爸爸。
父亲： 嗯??哦，你说什么？ 肖恩：她说，“我们知道你说过什么，爸爸。” 父亲： 是啊，是啊，当然。
母亲： 快说吧，亲爱的。我做了特别好吃的甜点。是我姨祖母希尔达传下来的老配方??
黛安： 妈妈，好了！ 母亲： 怎么啦，宝贝？ 10
(DIANE shakes her head and lets her body fall against the back of the chair. ) FATHER: At any rate, Dan's a nice guy. Never knew him well. Found we have a lot of the same interests. Our families, our community, global peace, human welfare. HEIDI: (Mumbling to herself) That narrows it down, all right. SEAN: Father?
FATHER: Yes, son?
SEAN: I do believe Diane would like to know the surprise.
DIANE: (Breathing hard as if exhausted, she turns to SEAN, nodding her head up and down repeatedly.) Thank you, Sean. I owe you one.
（黛安摇着头，身体仰靠在椅背上。）
父亲： 不管怎么说，丹人不错。过去我跟他不熟。发现我俩还有不少志趣相同之处。家庭，社区，世界和平，人类幸福。
海蒂： （咕哝着自言自语）就要说到正题了。 肖恩： 爸爸？
父亲： 嗳？儿子？
肖恩： 我肯定黛安很想知道是什么惊喜。 黛安： （粗粗地喘气，好像精疲力竭的样子，她转向肖恩，连连点头）多谢了，肖恩。我记着你的情。 11
FATHER: Well, yes. Here it is then. I told Dan of your interest in his son. DIANE: You what?
MOTHER: Diane, what has come over you? I just don't understand the younger generation. Why back in my day -- DIANE: Mother, please! MOTHER: What, what? What?
HEIDI: Mother, I believe she wants Father to continue.
SEAN: (To himself) Get this over with, more likely. DIANE: Daddy, please, tell me. Now. Right away. What did you say, Daddy? Please. Tell me, what did you tell Mr. Lucas? Tell me, please. Please tell me. FATHER: Well, now, isn't this nice. It looks like my little scheme is a success. You're so eager to find out... makes a man feel as if it's all worthwhile. 父亲： 啊，对。我就说吧。我告诉丹，你对他儿子很感兴趣。 黛安： 你说什么？
母亲： 黛安，你怎么啦？我真不明白你们年轻人。唉，在我那个时候?? 黛安： 妈，好啦！
母亲： 怎么啦，怎么啦？又怎么啦？ 海蒂： 妈妈，我知道她想听爸爸说完。
肖恩： （自言自语）还不如说是快把这份罪受完算了。
黛安： 爸爸，请你告诉我。现在，马上告诉我。你说什么啦，爸爸？求你了，快说，你跟卢卡斯先生说什么啦？请快告诉我。请快说。
父亲： 嗨，瞧，太妙了。看来我的小计策成功了。如今你急着想知道??这可让人觉得我做的这一切还真值。 12
HEIDI: (To SEAN) Can you believe this?
SEAN: (To HEIDI) Oh, sure. Can't you? FATHER: Yes, well, I told him how much you liked young Kyle, and how you'd been wishing he'd ask you to the prom.
DIANE: You didn't! Tell me you didn't! FATHER: Oh, yes. Anything for my children. DIANE: (Swallowing hard) And...and -- MOTHER: Diane, are you all right?
DIANE: (She juts out her chin at MOTHER and quickly jerks her head around to face FATHER. ) Well...what did he say?!
FATHER: Well, of course, being the sort of man he is -- frank, understanding, he said he'd speak to the young man, insist he give you a call. DIANE: (Angry scream! ) Whaaaaaat!
SEAN and HEIDI: (Together) Father, you know better than that.
FATHER: I do? Yes, yes, I guess I do. I've...done it again, haven't I? 海蒂： （对肖恩）你能相信吗？
肖恩： （对海蒂）啊，当然。你还不信？ 父亲： 嗯，对了，我告诉他你是多么喜欢小凯尔，一心希望他邀你在班级舞会上跳舞。 黛安： 你没这么说过！告诉我你没这么说过！ 父亲： 说了，当然说了。只要为了我孩子好嘛。 黛安： （尽力忍住）那??那??
母亲： 黛安，你没事吧？
黛安： （冲着母亲撅起下巴，很快扭头面对父亲）那??他怎么说？！
父亲： 嗯，当然啦，以他的为人——坦率，善解人意，他说他会去跟小伙子说的，一定让他给你打电话。
黛安： （愤怒地高喊）什——么！
肖恩、海蒂：（齐声）老爸，你这是干什么呀。
父亲： 是吗？对，对，我想是。我又??弄糟了，是吗？ 13
(The lights quickly fade to black and then come up a second or two later. DIANE stands alone at the Down Right edge of the stage. HEIDI and SEAN enter Down Left and cross to the edge of the stage. )
DIANE: Can you imagine how humiliated I was? An honor student, class president. And Father was out asking people to have their sons call and ask me to the prom! But that's dear old dad. Actually, he is a dear. He just doesn't stop to think. And it's not just one of us who've felt the heavy hand of interference. Oh, no, all three of us live in constant dread knowing that at any time disaster can strike because: DIANE, HEIDI and SEAN: (Shouting in unison) Father knows better.
（灯光迅速暗下，旋即重新亮起。黛安独自站在舞台右前边沿。海蒂、肖恩自左前方上，走至舞台边。）
黛安： 你们能想象我觉得自己有多么丢人现眼吗？堂堂的优秀生，班主席。父亲竟然去求别人叫他们的儿子打电话来邀我跳舞！可这就是我那可爱的老爸。他其实挺可爱的。他就是不好好想一想。不止我一个人深受他横加干预之苦。哦,绝非我一个人，我们兄妹三个整天提心吊胆，知道倒霉的事随时可能来临，因为： 黛安、海蒂、肖恩：（齐声）老爸英明！
14
(The lights fade to black and quickly come up again Stage Left where there is an executive-type desk and chair and two other chairs. Behind the desk sits MRS. HIGGINS, in charge of admitting new students to Benjamin Harrison High School. HEIDI and FATHER sit in the other chairs. )
MRS.HIGGINS: So this is our new student, is it? FATHER: That's right.
MRS.HIGGINS: What's your name, young lady? HEIDI: HEIDI Thompson.
MRS.HIGGINS: I'm sure you'll find the students friendly. And the teachers more than willing to answer questions.
FATHER: She is an exceptional young woman, you know. HEIDI: Daddy!
（灯光暗下，旋即在舞台左侧重新亮起。舞台左侧摆放着一套办公桌椅和另两张椅子。希金斯太太坐在办公桌旁办理本杰明·哈里森中学新生入学手续。海蒂和父亲坐在另外两张椅子上。） 希金斯太太：你是我们新来的学生，是吗？ 父亲： 是的。
希金斯太太：你叫什么名字，小姐？ 海蒂： 海蒂·汤普森。
希金斯太太：我相信你一定会发现这里的同学们都挺友好。这里的老师也都乐意回答问题。
父亲： 您知道，她是个出类拔萃的姑娘。 海蒂： 爸爸！
15
FATHER: Very, very bright.
MRS.HIGGINS: Yes, now if we can get you to fill out --
FATHER: Don't know where she got her brains. Her mother, I suppose. Oh, I was bright enough. But nothing like HEIDI. All her teachers have told Mrs. Thompson -- that's
her mother -- and me that she was just about the brightest --
MRS.HIGGINS: (Interrupts as she loses her patience, though trying to be pleasant) As I said, if you have proof of vaccinations -- FATHER: (Interrupts, carrying on with his line of thought) Besides being bright, she's very, very talented.
HEIDI: (Twists her hands over and over in front of her chest. ) Please, Daddy, don't do this.
FATHER: Well, of course I will, darling. I'm proud of you. Your mother and I are proud of you.
(Turns back to MRS. HIGGINS. ) Why just last year, in her last year of junior high school, before we moved, Heidi placed first in the county in the annual spelling bee! Isn't that wonderful? And she plays the piano like an angel. An absolute angel. 父亲： 非常非常聪明！
希金斯太太：一定是的，现在你是不是能填一下??
父亲： 不知道她怎么会这么聪明。我想是她母亲的遗传。哦，我也不笨。可没法跟海蒂比。教过她的老师都对汤普森太太，就是她妈，还有我说，她差不多是最聪明的一个?? 希金斯太太：（不耐烦地打断，但口气仍尽量和缓）我刚才说了，如果你有疫苗接种证明??
父亲： （打断希金斯太太，沿着自己的思路讲下去）她不仅聪明，而且才华出众。 海蒂： （双手置于胸前，搓拧着）行了，爸爸，别说了。
父亲： 啊，宝贝儿，我当然要说。我为你感到骄傲。我和你妈都为你感到骄傲。（转回身面向希金斯太太）嗳，就在去年，她初中最后一年，我们还没搬家的时候，海蒂在县里每年一度的拼单词比赛中得了第一名！了不起吧？而且她钢琴也弹得美妙之极。简直就是仙乐。
16
HEIDI: Daddy, please. Please, please. Daddy, I have to go to class. I want to go to class. Please let me go to class.
FATHER: See what I mean? Such an eager learner. I can't imagine anyone's being more eager for knowledge than my Heidi. My little girl. MRS.HIGGINS: Yes, well, be that as it may -- HEIDI: Aaargh! Aaaaargh! Aaaargh!
(DIANE and SEAN enter Down Right. They look at HEIDI, FATHER, and MRS. HIGGINS. ) HEIDI, DIANE and SEAN: (Shouting in unison) Daddy, you know better than that! FATHER: Er, uh, I do? (Curtain)
海蒂： 爸爸，行了。求求你了，求求你了。爸爸，我得上课去了。我要去上课。请让我去上课吧。
父亲： 瞧见了没有？一个多么好学的学生。我想不出还有谁比我家海蒂更好学了。我的好姑娘。
希金斯太太：是的，嗯，不过??
海蒂: 唉！唉！唉！
（黛安、肖恩从右前方上。两人望着海蒂、父亲和希金斯太太。） 海蒂、黛安、肖恩：（齐声喊）老爸，你这是干什么呀。